How it looks vs how it feels
As some of you may have seen on my Instagram, we’ve been doing a whole lot of renovation work at home over the last few months—and yesterday we began again, with the bathroom being ripped out. We did have a lovely three‑week pause over Christmas though, where the kitchen was finished and the builders took a break. In those three weeks, we simply lived. We hosted a family lunch, had friends over for NYE, and welcomed another group for our annual Christmas get‑together.
Being in the space I had envisioned and brought to life has given me so much joy—but honestly, when I was in it, in the midst of each gathering, what it looked like couldn’t have been further from my mind. The joy was entirely in the people and the moments. The lovely space we created simply became the platform for living.
Instagram is often (not always) about how things look, and there can be a bit of push-back about valuing how things feel instead. I’m here to say: you don’t have to choose. I’m a full advocate for shades of grey over black‑and‑white thinking—the polarised internet is not my thing. In fact, polarising anything isn’t my thing. Every argument has subtleties and perspectives, and I’m here to tell you that you can absolutely let your creativity flow and create a beautiful platform for how your wedding or family photoshoot could look and still live it fully and be present. The same goes for branding—prep your aesthetic, then step into it and focus on doing your thing. Not on what the photographer is doing. Not on what you might look like while you’re doing it.
If you’re in the “keeping it real” camp but feel a creative pull toward choosing colours or outfits for your family shoot, you can do that without losing any of the “real” or “authentic.” It doesn’t need to be 100% raw, messy, and uncoordinated for you to be 100% present on the day (although I absolutely LOVE that raw reality too!). Authenticity in your gallery comes from your presence in the moment—on the day. What you do beforehand is entirely up to you, and if you want to plan something beautiful, all you need to do is share that vision with your photographer.
Weddings - your aesthetic vision captured in a day you truly LIVE
Last summer I shot the most beautiful wedding. In my first call with the bride, she was completely committed to keeping everything real, relaxed, and unposed. But in her questionnaire and our final pre‑wedding call, she had unleashed her creativity and come up with a long list of ideas she wanted captured. It felt like such a dichotomy, and to be totally honest, I wasn’t sure how to approach the day.
I flagged it with her, and we agreed that I’d try to capture everything on the list—but not at the expense of flow, real moments, or genuine connection. She accepted that some shots might not be possible and agreed that her priority was to enjoy herself.
And then the day arrived… and despite my misgivings, it was completely easy. She had “front‑loaded” the prep, as she put it, so she could be 100% present—and she executed that perfectly. At no point did she seem worried about how anything looked, whether I was capturing everything she’d imagined, or who was where when. She simply lived her day.
Her face was a picture of joy and radiance from start to finish. The gallery feels real, raw, and authentic—but it’s also full of aesthetic joy. She ran around, laughed with her guests, got thrown in the air, and had the best time during the couples photos she’d envisioned. Those images sparkle with fun. She didn’t know where I was for huge parts of the day, and she certainly wasn’t asking me to catch things for her. She trusted me. She lived her day. It was a partnership.
It's a creative partnership
So, to you creative souls who get joy from bringing a vision to life: if this is you, and you have a vision for your wedding, your event, or your shoot, you don’t have to choose between how it looks and how it feels. You can have real and authentic. You can be fully present. You can also create something beautiful and enjoy the planning.
The secret to getting this right lies in the relationship between you and your photographer. Front‑load your prep and get clear on your vision, then make sure that you feel safe enough to take the leap of faith and place it in your photographer’s hands on the day. Chat to them, be clear about your hopes, your vision, and your priorities—and trust that, like any creative endeavor, the results may not look exactly like your original vision, but together you can create something beautiful and enjoy the process.
The creative joy comes first—have fun with the prep and the vision.
The mindful joy comes on the day—trust your photographer, be present, enjoy your people, and live.
The results will be beautiful, sparkling with joy & a magic that is entirely you - I absolutely promise.
